Search Engine Results

By Dani Janae

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My entire life, I have learned to subsist on love that was
not whole, that was piecemeal, that was not made for me
to begin with. That kind of love makes you think you were

born wrong, a villain invading the crib. My adoptive mom
did not love me in a way I could understand, so I learned to live 
in the hollow. I learned to love the mother that birthed me, 

loved what I made her: a quiet, bookish woman who played piano.
When she was not who I wanted, I learned to love who she was.
I searched any approximation of her name, and learned to love

the errors. Did you mean: Sarah Walsh? Did you mean: Sarah Welch?
I learned to love the woe. I learned to love her demons. I learned to 
love her refuse. I have a face only my mother could love. I have some 

secrets only my mother could forgive. I say all this to say: my mother 
left me to the wolves and I still loved her. Do you understand? 
The weight we give daughters to carry? Like a fruit tree, I spawn good

children. Each poem sparkling and juicy. It takes a therapist one session 
to name “abandonment.” The search engine says, did you mean: absence? 
Did you mean: abscess? Did you mean: abstract? Did you mean: abet?

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Dani Janae is a poet and journalist from Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania. Her work has been published by Longleaf Review, SWWIM Every Day, Palette Poetry, South Florida Poetry Journal, and others. Her debut collection of poetry, Hound Triptych, will be published by Sundress Publications in Spring 2026. She lives in South Carolina.

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