Midlife Abecedarian
By Melissa Fite Johnson
At the antique mall with a friend, buried in a bin: a Florence Griffith Joyner doll, comes with a full set of nail stickers. I read once that during a race her nail flew off; after it ended she walked the track to find it. Her miniature wears a one-legged bodysuit, neon green and pink, the detail I most associate with her. My friend asks if she’s still alive. I look it up—no, 1998, seizure in her sleep, just before her 39th birthday. I only now, in midlife, know how young that is to die. When I was little, forty was my father’s scratchy cheek, my mother’s face cream. Forty was inevitable. Death had not yet entered my mind, though soon I’d learn. My old babysitter, my classmate whose father skidded past the stop sign one winter, Anne Frank, Titanic, I couldn’t quit learning death. I’m still learning it, researching even the slightest symptoms, wondering each birthday how much more time. I set down Flo-Jo’s cardboard home. My friend holds up another doll. I look this one up too, déjà vu, only she’s alive, Billie Jean King, white tennis dress with blue Peter Pan collar, x number of years left. Next month, I’ll turn forty. Well— you never really know. I should. 4-0. In tennis, the zero is love. 40-love. I would love to turn forty.
Melissa Fite Johnson is the author of three full-length collections, most recently Midlife Abecedarian (Riot in Your Throat, 2024). Her poems have appeared in Ploughshares, Pleiades, HAD, SWWIM Every Day, and elsewhere. Melissa teaches high school English in Lawrence, KS, where she and her husband live with their dogs.
11/8 / Meet the Artist with visiting poet-in-residence Ruby Hansen Murray / The Library at The Betsy-South Beach, Miami Beach, FL / Live and Live-Streamed on Instagram Live/Facebook Live at @swwimmiami / 6:00 pm EST / Free
11/8 / Poetry Reading with visiting poet-in-residence Ruby Hansen Murray and local poet Judy Ireland / The Library at The Betsy-South Beach, Miami Beach, FL / Live and Live-Streamed on Instagram Live/Facebook Live at @swwimmiami / 7:30 pm EST / Free
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these are so hard to do well. especially loving that creative ending! :)