Light in the bruise of the night

By Kuhu Joshi

On a date with the boy I finally like
I talk about my father.
How he found my mother 
at the officers’ academy, smiling 
and pinning her sarees. 
I tell my date, biting into ravioli, my father hunted 
for the woman who would birth me
in the bowl of her lap, humming 
lullabies. My father still in office. 
“I really like this guy,” I texted my girlfriends 
from the bathroom on WhatsApp. 
And of course I didn’t tell my date
how the story unfolded. My father twisted 
my arm, and more, on my sixteenth birthday. 
I was laughing with a boy, unwrapping 
presents. I still blew the candles,
light in the bruise of the night
and after, my mother stroked my curls 
on her lap and said, “He is not a monster,” 
“He is not a monster.” “I want to date him,” 
“I want to date him,” my mind was flashing 
as I sat across this warm and confident 
man who made me laugh so hard 
my kajal ran the length of my cheek. O, 
I wanted, then, to love him.

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Kuhu Joshi is an Indian poet based in New York City. Her work has been published in POETRY, Best New Poets, Four Way Review, Black Fork Review, Rattle, Memorious, and others. She was awarded an honorable mention for the Academy of American Poets' university prize. She currently teaches college-level creative writing and composition. Her debut poetry collection, My Body Didn't Come Before Me, is forthcoming with Speaking Tiger Books India.

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