I Wanted to be a Heart
By Cecelia Hagen
In the green morning
I wanted to be a heart.
Federico García Lorca, “Ditty of First Desire”
I wanted to be a heart, even if lurching,
even if indecisive. Even if tired, at times,
of the constant need to beat. If not a heart
I wanted to be a crow, to foretell by foraging,
by flying at random and opening my beak to say
nothing that could be disputed.
What I wanted most
was to be a crow’s heart, the unseen engine
that fuels all lifts and landings, the tender ruby
thumping beneath onyx feathers. Me the green
morning also, the reaching grass. The soft mysterious air
sending clouds over low-slung hills. Again I wanted to be
a heart in its vestibule, its chambers unexplored,
sacred in their sanctuary of bone. Cecelia Hagen’s poems have appeared or are forthcoming in River Styx, Bear Review, Comstock Review, NELLE, EcoTheo, The Shore, Guesthouse, and New Ohio Review. She is the author of Entering (Airlie Press) and the chapbooks Among Others and Fringe Living. Her work has received awards and fellowships from Literary Arts, the MacDowell Colony, and Playa. She lives in Eugene, Oregon, where she volunteers in the schools and works to protect birds and other wildlife.
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