I am wanted everywhere

By Roseline Mgbodichinma

After Post Massacre Psyche Evaluation by Abu Bakr Sadiq
 

                                          Nobody asked me what it took them to slice me open?
 


There is a scarf I hold unto

When the crucifixion starts 

I let blood & water mix like wine

And when they ask me who tried to kill me

Or where the weapons are

I will show them your tongue

Tell them your closed  mouth is the sheath

And your smile, another kind of crimson
 


                                                                                               Or don’t you remember?
 


The mockery on that November morning,

How my tight dress became a circus 

As you danced around me in blasphemies

Saying there is no room for a belly as big as mine in a dress as colourful as that

Sometimes shaming is as potent as a bullet

& one shot is all it takes 



                                                                   Do you know death has a fashion sense?



It is a garment of morphed wishes,

The one that wears itself on me when my lover says 

We cannot make love with candles

Because my body is not shaped like an hourglass 



                            Not all kinds of death lock you in a grave, some of it leaves you
                            roaming in the world?
 


I don't know what it means to have a deathless body

Because every day, a part of me dies intestate 

My mother is afraid another man will shoot me

for living in this body. I, too, am afraid to exist 

So l launch a police report

I am writing my statement & the policeman says I should show him evidence
            of attempted murder,

I start to undress 

& show him my love handles 

I tell him this is where the conspiracy began 

I tell him my extra skin is their ammunition
 
& my cellulite, their shotgun

But he does not believe 



I tell him to file a restraining order against the world

Because I do not know to which extent this body will grow

But he does not understand

So I dress myself 

And I say, 

Look! Look! Look!

It all started from the size of my stomach 

Now I am wanted everywhere 

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Roseline Mgbodichinma is a Nigerian writer, poet, and blogger passionate about documenting women's stories. She is currently pursuing a law degree and actively freelancing. Her work has been published on Isele, Native Skin, Down River Road, Amplify, JFA human rights mag, Blue Marble Review, Kalahari Review, Indianapolis Review, the hellebore, and elsewhere. You can reach her on her blog at mgbodichi.com, where she writes about art, issues, and lifestyle.

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